I was only a few years older than she was, with a four-year-old and a new baby of my own. On that day, I became the “older woman” from Titus 2. I did not step into that role because I was wiser, stronger, or more mature. I stepped in because I had a foundation of faith. Even so, I have always wrestled with that role.

I was raised in a Christian home. As a preacher’s kid, I was constantly surrounded by Bible study and truth. During my single years, I gave little thought to what my role should be within the faith community. After I married and moved across the ocean with my husband, I experienced the shift for the first time. That move stripped away my existing support net, placing an ocean between me and my friends and family. We could still talk, but I couldn’t just drive to see them for an afternoon or a weekend. I had to learn how to build a new network in a new place, through some big challenges, including a miscarriage. That transition taught me to rely more deeply on God than ever before.

Now, at 45, serving in leadership, I still feel the tension. I am both a younger and older woman at the same time. I continue to learn and seek guidance from mentors, even as others look to me for wise counsel.

In Ephesians 4:1, Paul encourages us to “walk worthy.” Whatever our age, our calling is to step into purpose with humility, even when we feel unprepared. As Mordecai reminded Esther, each of us is placed in our unique position “for such a time as this.” God equips us through our experiences and uses them to help others.

Titus 2 does not give us an age when a woman suddenly becomes an “older woman.” The instructions Paul gave show us a pattern of women teaching other women how to live faithfully. The call to teach and mentor does not require reaching the end of the road before helping someone who is a little farther behind.

We are not called to impress. We are called to live faithfully and to share what is good. The quiet, often unseen acts of faithfulness matter. Your love, service, and kindness are seen by God and remembered by others. In this way, faith is handed down from person to person. The Church grows through slow, quiet, and faithful relationships.

Perhaps you can think of people who offered you kindness and friendship. As they shared their stories, from struggles to triumphs, you experienced comfort and encouragement. Your story could do the same for someone else! Letting your light shine, even in uncertainty, might be what leads someone else out of a storm and into safe harbor.

This calling is beautiful, but it can also be heavy. Even Jesus withdrew to quiet places to pray and rest, reminding us that rest is not weakness—it’s wisdom. In Matthew 11:28, He says, “Come to Me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” If we want to pour into others, we must also allow space for God to pour into us.

Caring for your soul is not selfish; it is essential. Set healthy limits, remembering that Jesus is the Savior; you are not. “No” is a complete sentence. Seek someone who can encourage and pour into your life. Spend time with God to renew and prepare, embracing rest as an act of obedience.

Mentorship begins when you invite someone into your walk with God and are willing to walk beside her in hers. Start small. Ask someone, “How can I pray for you?” Invite a younger woman into your everyday life. If you’re looking for a mentor, start with prayer. As you seek leadership, look for a life marked by obedience rather than charisma. Sometimes all it takes is asking, “Could we meet or talk sometime?”

Mentorship is not about having all the answers. It is about showing up, walking together, and pointing toward Christ.
Titus 2 is not an assignment for the distant future, but an invitation for today. Someone already sees you as her older woman in the faith. Walk with her. Invite her into your story. Share what others have shared with you.
You are not stuck in the middle. You are walking the path of faith. God can use what He has already taught you to help someone else. You never know who is watching and needs exactly what God has given you.

On the surface, those may seem like conflicting feelings. I even thought that to myself as I sighed in relaxation after everyone left and we settled down for the night. Then I realized that my first priority in hospitality is with my own family.

Loving and serving others begins with learning to love and serve faithfully within our own home. As a wife and mom, I serve my family because I love them and want them to succeed. I do not expect anything in return. When I serve outside of my family, my family serves alongside me, because they’ve experienced the joy of serving firsthand.

Note: None of that means my household is free from arguments, bad attitudes, or stress. We do not always get along perfectly or handle disagreements with grace. However, we take what we learn and try to do better. We take what we learn in the safety of our home into other relationships in the community.

It’s been said that the family is the church in miniature. Remember that the church is not a building, but rather a group of people. Church isn’t a place to go. Church is something to be and do!

In my musings over my seemingly contradictory thoughts, my mind rested on the phrase “keepers at home.” This is found in Titus 2:5 in the King James Version of the Bible. The word used here is only found in this passage. This sent me down some wild rabbit trails—everything from “women should only ever work at home” to “this was a specific suggestion for Paul’s audience at that time.” Like many things, the truth is likely somewhere in the middle. When possible, feasible, and agreeable, I do believe that a stay-at-home mom is the best model to follow. It takes diligence and even sacrifice, but it’s by far the best choice for our family. I also became intrigued by the meaning of the word used here in the original language. The word oikourgos is a compound word. Oik means house, home, or household. Ourgos means to keep watch, guard, and manage. The implication for a wife as manager of the household is much more than simply the domestic duties of cooking, cleaning, and raising children.

Besides my enjoyment of studying words, I also focus on context. Paul is telling Titus how to teach what is right and encourages the church to do the same. He outlines the responsibilities of older men, older women, younger men, younger women, and slaves. Titus 2:3–5 (BSB) says: “Older women, likewise, are to be reverent in their behavior, not slanderers or addicted to much wine, but teachers of good. In this way they can train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, managers of their households, kind, and submissive to their own husbands so that the word of God will not be discredited.”

Older women are to teach younger women how to live a godly life in action. Our culture may be very different than first-century Crete in many ways, but one truth remains: People will SEE our actions before they ever LISTEN to our words.