During the ceremony, I remembered my grandfather’s words to us, not just on that day, but throughout the years.
What do you remember about your wedding day? How much time and planning went into your celebration? Our wedding day had some hiccups (including a flood, a health scare, and a bumped flight), and our marriage isn’t perfect, but my husband and I focus on building our relationship. Communication, connection, and intimacy are foundational to any relationship.

My husband likes to tell the following joke: “Marriage is a three-ring circus. Engagement ring. Wedding ring. Suffer-ing.” This gets him some laughs and a few eye-rolls as well. All joking aside, weddings are a beautiful thing. However, many people spend a small (or large) fortune on one day and do not invest in their marriage. Marriage also gives us a powerful picture of God’s relationship with His people throughout Scripture.

In the Old Testament, God uses marriage to describe His covenant relationship with Israel. He speaks of loving and providing for her, while Israel’s repeated unfaithfulness is described as adultery. Even in judgment, God calls His people to return to Him and promises restoration.

In the New Testament, the marriage imagery continues with Christ and the church. Christ loved the church and gave Himself for her (Ephesians 5:25), and Revelation looks forward to the wedding of the Lamb, when His bride has made herself ready (Revelation 19:7).

As Christians, we wait for the return of our Bridegroom and the wedding of the Lamb. How do we behave in the waiting? Do we make preparations so that we are ready for the day? Are we faithfully living out the relationship we claim to have with Him? Be committed to studying His Word, a love letter that reminds us who God is and how deeply He loves us. Talk to Him throughout your day, about everything! As we spend time in His Word and in prayer, we grow in our knowledge of Him and learn to live faithfully while we wait.

The loss of my last grandparent has had a great impact on me. I miss Granddaddy more than I thought possible. I did all I could to see him often and call him regularly in the eleven months between losing Grandmama and the week he died. I enjoyed talking to him, listening to his stories, and watching his face. His joy and zest for life radiated through him! He had “smile crinkles” and a twinkle in his eye, especially when he was making up an answer or teasing. Every picture (or at least all of my favorite ones) shows off his joy, humor, and love.

For God, Family, and Country

I wrote before that my grandfather was a diligent student, especially of the Bible. My grandfather loved the Word of God. Scripture was his guidebook for life. He started every day with an open Bible and prayer. He took time to talk to anyone and answer questions. He had a way of gently teaching the truth that conveyed God’s love without condoning wrongdoing.

He loved and provided for his family. He worked hard and paid for all four of his children to attend college without debt. (He only paid for their first degree). Even when he traveled for work, his priority was to be home every night with his family. He never missed a worship service if he could help it. Even when my grandparents vacationed around the world, they would find a local congregation. I found a huge collection of church bulletins and tracts from different places they visited.

My grandfather was a patriot, loyal to the American Constitution. When Peter was on active duty, Grandmama made yellow ribbons, which Granddaddy faithfully put up through every deployment. He wore an American flag on his lapel, but not just as an ornament. He was a patriot who prayed for the leaders of the country (even when he didn’t like them or their values). These yellow ribbons meant so much to me during the many months that Peter was away, but not nearly as much as the comfort provided by my family.

Work and Play

Granddaddy retired when he turned 80. One of the last big trips my grandparents were able to take was visiting us in Germany. I treasure so much about that visit, even though we didn’t do a lot of sightseeing, because I was able to share my life—the ordinary everyday moments—with these amazing people.

Along with the many Bibles, commentaries, and religious books in his collection, he also had several of Dale Carnegie’s courses. He would listen to courses (on tape) during his traveling salesman days. He completed nearly all of Sunset’s Bible Courses and constantly strove to do better in all areas of his life.

His first and most important job was in service of the church. He retired from work, but he never retired from serving the Lord. He worked for the Lord every day of his life. Some days looked different than others. My grandparents held Bible studies, hosted small groups, and visited the sick and shut-ins. When my grandmother’s health declined, my grandfather’s service shifted to care for the love of his life. He worked for the Lord in everything he did.

Love without Limits

My grandparents married in 1949. When she died, they’d been married seventy-two and a half years. There were challenges in those times, but they stuck together, as long as life allowed. Just as Elisha walked with Elijah until God took him, my grandfather walked with my grandmother. Losing his lifelong companion was devastating. They’d scarcely been a day without one another since they were 16 years old. They took care of each other, supported each other, and really did life together! Their example means so much to me, especially now, though I miss them terribly.

As Christians, our love does not end in death. We have hope beyond this life. The day before he died, he repeated this part of Revelation 19:1, “Hallelujah! Salvation and glory and power belong to our God!” He knew God and was ready to go. He walked with God in this life and into the next, never alone, though certainly lonely in the last year of his life. He was the last of his siblings and had outlived many of his oldest friends.

His favorite psalm was Psalm 133. He had these three verses committed to memory. He strove and prayed for unity in his family, church, and the world. He encouraged others to do the same.

We reached a point in the last year where we have been together more than half our married lives. With two deployments (one 15 months, one 12) and one TCS that lasted nine months, this hasn’t always been so. Those longer separations don’t include field exercises, NTC, TDYs, and all the other times the Army took him away from home. Separation kept us from celebrating anniversaries and other milestones together in years past.

Even when we’ve been in the same place at the same time, complications can arise, like Peter’s hospitalization following a wisdom tooth extraction two years ago (for which he stayed in the hospital longer than I did with both C-sections combined, but I’m not bitter). Two duty stations on two continents and two beautiful children have blessed our marriage with innumerable adventures.

My son asked me if we were going to invite everyone and have a party for our anniversary. I didn’t know who “everyone” could be. He said, “Like at the church,” and I was speechless. Part of me wanted to explain that we don’t celebrate anniversaries the same way as birthdays, but knowing the many “whys” that would follow, and wondering the same thing myself, I just said, “I think we will probably just go out on a date.”

We tend to commemorate the big anniversaries with parties and gusto. Everything leading up to those big years gets overlooked. Some of those little years make up the glue of the big years.

My son may be onto something. This weekend, I’m going to make an anniversary cake with eight candles. We’re going to rejoice in all we have endured, both good and bad, through our years together. We’re going to pray for the years to come. Most importantly, we are going to celebrate our now.