I was only a few years older than she was, with a four-year-old and a new baby of my own. On that day, I became the “older woman” from Titus 2. I did not step into that role because I was wiser, stronger, or more mature. I stepped in because I had a foundation of faith. Even so, I have always wrestled with that role.

I was raised in a Christian home. As a preacher’s kid, I was constantly surrounded by Bible study and truth. During my single years, I gave little thought to what my role should be within the faith community. After I married and moved across the ocean with my husband, I experienced the shift for the first time. That move stripped away my existing support net, placing an ocean between me and my friends and family. We could still talk, but I couldn’t just drive to see them for an afternoon or a weekend. I had to learn how to build a new network in a new place, through some big challenges, including a miscarriage. That transition taught me to rely more deeply on God than ever before.

Now, at 45, serving in leadership, I still feel the tension. I am both a younger and older woman at the same time. I continue to learn and seek guidance from mentors, even as others look to me for wise counsel.

In Ephesians 4:1, Paul encourages us to “walk worthy.” Whatever our age, our calling is to step into purpose with humility, even when we feel unprepared. As Mordecai reminded Esther, each of us is placed in our unique position “for such a time as this.” God equips us through our experiences and uses them to help others.

Titus 2 does not give us an age when a woman suddenly becomes an “older woman.” The instructions Paul gave show us a pattern of women teaching other women how to live faithfully. The call to teach and mentor does not require reaching the end of the road before helping someone who is a little farther behind.

We are not called to impress. We are called to live faithfully and to share what is good. The quiet, often unseen acts of faithfulness matter. Your love, service, and kindness are seen by God and remembered by others. In this way, faith is handed down from person to person. The Church grows through slow, quiet, and faithful relationships.

Perhaps you can think of people who offered you kindness and friendship. As they shared their stories, from struggles to triumphs, you experienced comfort and encouragement. Your story could do the same for someone else! Letting your light shine, even in uncertainty, might be what leads someone else out of a storm and into safe harbor.

This calling is beautiful, but it can also be heavy. Even Jesus withdrew to quiet places to pray and rest, reminding us that rest is not weakness—it’s wisdom. In Matthew 11:28, He says, “Come to Me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” If we want to pour into others, we must also allow space for God to pour into us.

Caring for your soul is not selfish; it is essential. Set healthy limits, remembering that Jesus is the Savior; you are not. “No” is a complete sentence. Seek someone who can encourage and pour into your life. Spend time with God to renew and prepare, embracing rest as an act of obedience.

Mentorship begins when you invite someone into your walk with God and are willing to walk beside her in hers. Start small. Ask someone, “How can I pray for you?” Invite a younger woman into your everyday life. If you’re looking for a mentor, start with prayer. As you seek leadership, look for a life marked by obedience rather than charisma. Sometimes all it takes is asking, “Could we meet or talk sometime?”

Mentorship is not about having all the answers. It is about showing up, walking together, and pointing toward Christ.
Titus 2 is not an assignment for the distant future, but an invitation for today. Someone already sees you as her older woman in the faith. Walk with her. Invite her into your story. Share what others have shared with you.
You are not stuck in the middle. You are walking the path of faith. God can use what He has already taught you to help someone else. You never know who is watching and needs exactly what God has given you.

Our congregation is small. Most of the time, I have one student. A class with one student is still a class worth teaching. In fact, one-on-one teaching provides opportunities that are much harder to find in a larger group. I can listen to every question, follow his interests, recognize when something isn’t connecting, and adjust the lesson to what he needs that day. The goal isn’t to get through the material. The goal is to teach the child in front of me.

The first and most important “rule” in teaching, no matter the age or size of your audience, is your willingness to listen. The second is cultivating critical thinking and teaching how to find Biblical answers to any question.

At least five times during the class, a child will ask, “Can I tell you something?” I always stop, make eye contact, and say, “Yes.” While he tells me whatever is on his mind, I listen and respond. Because he is typically the only student in the class, there have been times when the lesson is disregarded because what he needs is to cry and be held. There have been days when the lesson is shorter, and he shows me how fast he can run around the table. When we teach children, we must be in tune with their needs. I still talk to him or sing as he snuggles or runs around the room. He knows he is safe and loved when he is with me, even when I set boundaries. Listening does not mean abandoning the lesson. Listening helps us know how to connect what we are teaching to the child in front of us.

No matter what age I teach, I often feel like I gain more than the students. I learn more as I study and adapt to the ages and stages of the children. When I teach, I also learn from them. The observations children make reflect their understanding and experience. Their questions provide opportunities, even for the teacher, to learn and grow.

Teaching children to love Jesus and follow God’s Will is about much more than the rules or a collection of stories and memory verses. Share what the love of Jesus means to you. Share how following God has challenged you and helped you in your life—yes, even with 3–4-year-olds! Help them write God’s Word on their hearts so that as they grow, they understand and apply the rules and stories in their own lives.

Children need more than opportunities to hear us talk about following Jesus. They need to see us follow Him, and they need opportunities to follow Him beside us.

When it comes to serving, I do not tell children they are too young or too little. In my family, my children are included in everything I do. I grew up with this example, so it was natural for me. I enjoy making meals for new moms, someone who’s recently had surgery, or those who’ve lost loved ones. My kids work alongside me, and we often make the deliveries together.

In the Old Testament, we are instructed to teach our children “as we go.” Hundreds of years later, Jesus tells us to “go” and share the Gospel. Go does not always mean leaving one place to do something in another. Go often means taking action right where you are.

My job as a mom is to prepare my children to go into the world. When they are little, you teach them to look (“Watch where you are going!”) and listen (“Follow directions!”). These same lessons hold great value as we grow up and go about in the world. Look for ways to serve, listen to the needs of others, and take action.

Teach them about Jesus as you go. Better yet, take them with you.

As God’s fellow workers, then, we urge you not to receive God’s grace in vain. For He says: “In the time of favor I heard you, and in the day of salvation I helped you.” Behold, now is the time of favor; now is the day of salvation!

2 Corinthians 6:1–2

“My” Tom Jones was also a singer, though not famous to anyone other than our church family. He jumped into leading singing. One week, he approached my mom and asked if she knew a particular song. When she said she did not know it, he declared, “We’re going to learn it!” So they did. Every time I hear or sing the song, I think of him. Sometimes, we get so used to what we’re singing that we don’t pay attention to the words. When I read the words of this song, it’s a promise and a way of life. The song is “I Love the Lord.”

Tom Jones was diabetic and legally blind, yet he did not make excuses to avoid serving. In spite of his limitations, he created beautiful things through carpentry. Because he was legally blind, he worked from a pattern in his mind. He and my dad made an amazing cabinet (it’s called the Tom Jones cabinet) that now sits in my schoolroom. It’s held everything from toys and stuffed animals to school and craft supplies, batteries, and extension cords and even served as a pantry and bookshelf. It’s been in three states, eight houses, and two storage facilities. He also made my cradle, which is now overflowing with my daughter’s stuffed animals.

He didn’t let what he couldn’t do get in his way. You can wait forever for the perfect time, or you can take action.

Lesson 1: Be Present

My grandmother was present for every major milestone in my life. My baptism, my high school, college, and grad school graduations, my wedding, and the birth of my firstborn. She told me that my babies were really hers, but she would let me raise them. I think she probably said this to all her grandkids and even her own children. She let me know that I was doing an amazing job, and these words always came at the right time.

Lesson 2: Search the Scriptures

My grandmother did not “grow up in the church.” At some point, she went to VBS and was given a little Bible. She searched the Scriptures and went to every congregation in town seeking the Truth. She knew what the Bible said, but every place she went, she knew something was missing. She met my grandfather when they were sixteen. She was dating his friend at the time, but he decided that wouldn’t do. When they began dating, she went to church with him and his family and finally found that missing piece.

One Wednesday night, my grandfather had to work, but my grandmother went to services and was baptized for the forgiveness of sins. She didn’t do this for him or his parents—her only audience was the Creator and Savior. She lived her faith every day of her life. She continued to read and study her Bible. She taught her children, grandchildren, and even great-grandchildren through both words and actions.

Lesson 3: Be Hospitable

My grandmother could crochet, cross-stitch, and sew. She made numerous baby afghans and quilts. One of her cross-stitch projects was a parliament of owls with the caption, “There’s always room for one more.” At the time, there were seven grandchildren, so the picture has two big owls and seven various-sized smaller ones. About a year and a half after hanging it, two more grandkids had been added.

This sentiment didn’t only apply to grandkids, though. Everyone was welcome at my grandmother’s house. On more than one occasion, my dad’s brothers and sister would come to family events. My uncle’s mother spent several holidays with us after she moved in with my aunt and uncle due to Alzheimer’s. All our friends growing up were welcome. She started this with her own children, who often brought home “extras” or strays for the holidays. She taught hospitality by living it.

Lesson 4: Be Diligent in Your Faith

We never had to wonder what my grandmother thought about anything. She shared her pride as well as disappointment. She encouraged and supported us and prayed for us daily.

My grandmother knew hardship. Her family was poor, and she remembered times when food was scarce. She knew how to fend for herself and do what needed to be done without being asked. She made a choice to walk with Christ and didn’t look back. She looked for ways to reach up to God for answers and then reached out to others with all she could offer.

Lesson 5: Family Matters

During Peter’s first deployment, we lived in Colorado Springs. I was pregnant with Dietrich, and we decided I should stay with my parents for the last trimester. A lot of things happened during that time, the biggest of which was that my dad was diagnosed with and treated for non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma (now in full remission).

My grandmother came for his first treatment and at least one other to stay with me, “just in case.” She was there when my baby boy was born. She rode back to Colorado Springs with me when Dietrich was three months old and flew back home, just so I wouldn’t have to make the trip alone. She also came to the funerals of my “other grandparents” to show her love and support for my dad. When someone married into the family, she completely adopted them as her own.

Lesson 6: Be Spontaneous

My grandparents took many trips over the years; sometimes they would just get in the car and go. During the summers of my college years and while I went to graduate school, I lived with my grandparents and worked at my grandfather’s company. One of those years, I attended a quilt class with her. Each month, we made a new block, and by the end of the year, we had a quilt. I made all the blocks, and she finished the quilt.

She surprised me with both a visit and the finished quilt on my birthday in 2011. The last “surprise” visit was in April 2016, before her back surgery, which didn’t go as smoothly as planned.

Lesson 7: Keep Working until You Are Not Able

After her back surgery (and subsequent surgeries to fix what didn’t go right), she still worked on her quilts and scrapbooks, though it became a little less at a time. She finished all the grandkids’ books and was working through the great-grands when she couldn’t do anymore, sometime last year.

When I say scrapbooking, I don’t mean putting pictures in an album with a few names and dates. Our lives and family history are thoroughly documented in these books. (I have five.) She took great care to know what was going on in our lives, showed interest in our activities, and knew our friends’ names. She loved our friends because we did. She offered wisdom from the Bible, insight from experience, and unwavering support. Her prayers never faltered. Even when she was in great pain, she held on to her Hope.

I am deeply sad because Grandmama’s presence in my life was so big. I am immeasurably grateful for the many years and memories and that my children knew her so well. I am angry that the events of 2020 stole valuable time from us. I am relieved that she is free from pain and suffering. Yet more than all those feelings, I am overwhelmed by the example of God’s love that she poured out every day of her life. Her legacy is one that clings to Hope, always reaching up to the Father and out to His people.