I try to be more peaceful and less yelly. My children are at the ages of extreme independence and defiance. Mix that with the safety hazards of moving, and screaming ends up happening more often than not. I do remain hopeful that once the house is put together (which is almost complete), that other things will fall into place as well.
This week’s one-word prompts came in the midst of dealing with yet another round of chaos (or maybe chaos is our normal these days): Trust and Scream. I laughed out loud when the notification came through because I feel that I live between the two places these days. My friend, Hannah came up to help with the unpacking – or, more accurately, help entertain the kids so I could get more done – and her time with us was a blessing. This came at the end of a week where the A/C had frozen up and I sent our damages claim (which could be lost in cyberspace). We were waiting for Grandpa’s arrival and for Peter to get off work so that we could begin the birthday celebrations. I’ve resided between the realms of Trust and Screaming for the month of June specifically, and the past eight months generally. Then came the news about my Grandma.
I trust in God’s provision and promises. I believe He has a plan for my life, a good plan. I rely on His Word as a guide for His Will, which is good, pleasing, and perfect (Romans 12:2). I hope, waiting in expectation, for the fulfillment of these promises, having full confidence He will bring His plan to completion in His time. However, that doesn’t take away those moments where life seems to be too much, with more moments of “I just can’t even” than moments of peace. In those times, seems the easiest, though likely not best, way to relieve the pressure.
We are spending a few days with family as we prepare to honor my Grandma’s life and say an earthly goodbye. Even though I’m still repeating instructions, the overall feeling is much more relaxed. A break from unpacking and organizing and time with my family is the perfect way to renew my spirit without screaming… (at least now that we siblings are adults, in theory).